Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
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You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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