I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize