just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
