i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
