Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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