two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
