I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
