I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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