she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
