i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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