they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
