dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
