Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
