Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
