Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
zippers are such a cool invention
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
