Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
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life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
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You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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