I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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