why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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