Don't you send me to vm
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
