Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
