he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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