The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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