So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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