You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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