College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
