Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
