i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
