He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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