so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
