The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
