i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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