Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
