She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
