So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
