i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
