Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
