i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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