He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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