one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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