Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
