And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
