rhymes with "ouble enetration"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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