Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
