i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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