how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
