she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
