Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
