I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
