We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
