Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
