all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
this will be a night to untag.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
