Dual....:-)
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
