i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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