when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
