i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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