you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
