He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i would punch a child for taco bell
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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