Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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