why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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