if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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