whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
