You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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