I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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