That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
