Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
