Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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