I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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