I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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