Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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