butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
