if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
