Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
