$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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