I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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