yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
