So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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